May 9, 2008

“Respect atheists,” says cardinal; “Fuck you,” says Dawkins

Artist\'s rendition

That Richard Dawkins, such a charmer!

The Archbishop of Westminster, the dude who a year ago complained about a “new secularist intolerance of religion,” is now urging Christians to treat atheists and agnostics with “deep esteem.”

Dawkins, of course, has replied to this olive branch with his usual subtlety:

Referring to God as an “imaginary friend”, Mr Dawkins [told the BBC]: “When talking to a politician you would demand proof for what they say, but suddenly when talking to a clergyman you don’t have to provide evidence.

“There’s absolutely no reason to take seriously someone who says, ‘I believe it because I believe it.’”

Yet more evidence that the name of this blog is justified, if not by God, than by science!

Dawkins sucks!

May 6, 2008

Atheist Porn and Other Teases

So last night while idly perusing the Internets, I came across a link promising some real, honest-to-goodness Atheist Porn. No, I don’t mean that video of the Four Horsemen that makes so many New Atheists all tingly. I mean, actual porn, with boobies and everything. So naturally, I had to research further.

Alas, while AtheistPorn.com does indeed feature boobies, there are only two, and they’re partially covered. The site’s slogan is simple — “No Heaven, No Hell, Just Porno” — but so far they only live up to the first two-thirds of it. The good stuff, the site assures us, is “coming soon.” (Presumably before the Second Coming.)

But not to worry, horny atheists. Because there’s at least one porn star out there who is an actual atheist: the legendary Asia Carrera (real name, Jessica Andrea Steinhauser). And you’ll be glad to know that her arguments for atheism are as sophisticated as Dawkins’ himself. As she explained to one of her fans:

“I am a diehard atheist, and have been since I was about 5 and discovered to my annoyance that there was no santa claus, no easter bunny, and no tooth fairy. well, that was it for me - I resolved then and there that no one was going to sucker ME into believing in any more invisible characters with superpowers!”

She’s even got an assortment of atheist jokes up on her web site. Here’s the first one:

God said, “Let there be light.”
Nothing happened for a few moments.
Then God said, “Who the heck am I talking to?”

Not bad, but it’s pretty much all downhill from there:

Is it an accident that the symbol of a bishop is a crook and the sign of an archbishop is a double-cross?

If man is fallible, is it possible his interpretations of religion are as well?

Neither a rimshot or a rim-anything-else could save that last one.

If this gets any athiests reading this too hot, the quickest way to cool down is with a quick trip to XXXChurch.com, which bills itself as the “#1 Christian Porn Site.”

I don’t quite know how that could be. I spent an hour watching their videos and no one even took their pants off!

May 5, 2008

PZ Myers Is Spitting Mad

What the hell is wrong with PZ Myers? The last time we checked in on the excitable New Atheist gadfly, he was having bizarre hallucinations involving Ben Stein, eyeballs, razor blades, and urine.

Now he’s gotten even more worked up about the yearly non-event that is the National Day of Prayer. After complaining, reasonably I think, that the once-ecumenical event has now morphed into a plaything for the Fundies, he lets loose the bonds of reason and sputters:

Fuck the National Day of Prayer. I can scarcely believe my country is officially pandering to such willful stupidity — elevating evangelical kooks to positions of prestige, trumpeting the virtues of sectarian religion, and actually crediting the successes of America to the fact that a subset of deluded, demented fools sit on their asses and beg an invisible man to protect us and help us kill people in foreign countries.

And he’s only getting going. We haven’t even gotten to the part about the spitting:

I feel like just declaring this the official National Day of Derangement and writing it all off, maybe spit in the soup of people who say grace, or flip off any group I catch trying to do a collective exercise in ritual invocation of nonexistent beings… .

No need to set aside a special day, PZ. For you, it’s clear that every day is a Day of Derangement.

May 5, 2008

Pablo Picasso Was Never Called An Asshole

It’s been said that Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole.

Which isn’t actually true — he sorta was — but it makes for a nice song.

I doubt anyone will ever write a similar song about Richard Dawkins, given his remarkable ability to irritate not only fire-breathing creationists but also quite reasonable atheists and agnostics with his dickish behavior. Heck, that’s why we here at Richard Dawkins is a Douchebag started this blog and gave it that particular name.

But sometimes we get lonely. Often when we express these opinions on message boards dominated by Dawkins fanboys, we feel like we’re the only ones who realize that Emperor Dawkins not only has no clothes, but also has been dipping his dick in the mashed potatoes.

So it’s reassuring to find others out there who sort of feel the same way.

Like this guy, who kinda feels like Richard Dawkins is a douche.

Or this guy, who thinks Dawkins and Hitchens are cranky bitches.

And this one, who eloquently suggests that Dawkins “will one day occupy the circle of Hell Dante set aside for arrogant cockwhores.”

As you might have gathered by the, er, salty language used by these bloggers, they are not fundmentalist Christians. In fact, they’re atheists.

In other words, Dawkins is not only preaching to the choir — I can’t imagine a single Christian converting to atheism after reading one of his smug little screeds — but he’s actually pissing off a significant portion of the choir. Brilliant!

May 4, 2008

The Mythology of the New Atheists

A friend from the Internet writes:

Mythology defines who we are, and defines the way the world is. Mythology offers models of virtue and ideals of humanity in their heroes, and in their dramas they define many aspects of the societies it influences. Myths and religions are intertwined deeply. Often our values are derived out of mythic thinking in way that we don’t recognize.

There is much to be learned in the cultural anthropological studies of mythology, much that is often neglected by so-called proponents of science.

The most important lesson is that myths are not necessarily false, they are not lies, and they often point to or express important truths. Mature myths can play a very positive role in life, adding value and meaning. Immature myths, on the other hand, can distort our thinking and our understanding of the world.

Is Every Believer a Fundamentalist?

When a religious thinker turns towards their myths, they can either look at them as allegorical, so that they generally point to something greater than the literal myths, and in this way they relate the mythic heroes to the life situations and circumstances that they face. The other approach to looking at myths is to take them strictly literally. The literalists are generally referred to as fundamentalists, and those who take their myths literally are typically responsible for the worst side of religion.

To simplify their attack on religions, the New Atheists play the trick of only recognizing those religious movements that are literalists as legitimate religion, since then there are claims about the world that can be readily shown to be scientifically false. The fact that many religious movements are not literalists, or have worked out ways to be compatible with science is dealt with by simply claiming those are not actually legitimate religions since they don’t really believe in their religious books.

Mythology is a Sneaky Thing

On first glance, you might not think that the New Atheists have any mythology. After all, they claim that their views are all based on rationalism and empiricism, and they often proudly claim to believe only in what science can show.

But mythology is a sneaky thing, it often infiltrates in ways that we do not initially see. But because our minds by their nature think in images, especially self-images, and those images define much of how we think about the world and our place in it, myths creep in. If you examine the New Atheists carefully, they have their own myths which are in many respects a mirror of Christianity.

Us vs. Them

A central motif of much mythic thinking is to divide the world into some form of “us,” and “them.” For the New Atheists that division is obviously atheism vs. religion, which is a mirror of Christians who divide the world into believers and non-believers.

The New Atheists have perpetuated the Enlightenment myth that there is a war between science and religion. They imagine themselves being an oppressed group suffering at the hands of religion. (The fact that the New Atheists are largely made up of relatively affluent white males who enjoy the least oppression of any social group in our society doesn’t really fit with their myth, but they conveniently ignore that, for as with much of their mythology, facts are secondary.)

The view that there is a long-running war between science and religion plays into the New Atheists’ demonization of religion. They can create a mythology of scientists as heroes, noble warriors fighting for all things noble and just against the essentially evil opponent, religion. This can be a dangerous myth, one that is common through many religions, as it is a justification for violence. One only needs to look to the Marxists to see the violence that the myth of a war between science and religion can potentially lead to.

God is Not a Unicorn

Atheists allow their own mythology to distort their thinking about the myths of others. The constant comparison of the notion of God to an Invisible Pink Unicorn, Santa Claus, or a child’s imaginary friend is a result of their thinking in terms of their own myths, for they must see the other as simplistic and irrational so that they can hold themselves above them as sophisticated and rational.

The question of the existence of God is in Western philosophy one of the most central existential questions there is. The question of whether He exists or not has profound implications for ethics, political science, aesthetics, ontology, metaphysics, and many other domains of thought outside science.

God as understood philosophically is not some invisible super-hero in the sky, He’s not some being to taken as literally true as represented in some mythological account with no other dimension or implications to His being.

Unicorns are neither the cause of the cosmos nor the cause of the individual. They are not the good that grounds both the world and human nature. They are a creature, not a creator. God is not understood as just a mythological creature, but as a principle which informs all it creates with meaning. They are completely different classes of being, and have completely different ways of understanding them.

Unicorns are a contingent, particular, finite, kind of imaginary animal imagined to be living within nature and thus are within the domain of natural science to investigate. God is a non-contingent, transcendent, universal, eternal, infinite, absolute principle, which cannot be the subject of natural sciences, and can only be understood through either revelation, philosophical reasoning, or mysticism, not science.

Claiming Einstein and the Founding Fathers

There are other many instances of mythic thinking shaping and warping their understanding of the world that pop up. For instance, the Founding Fathers of the US are often claimed to be predominantly Deists, while in fact this was a minority view. Some have even expressed the bizarre view that they were closet atheists. To counter the Christian Right’s misrepresentation that the Founding Fathers shaped a Christian nation, they invent their own counter-misrepresentation.

There are figures that they would like to claim, such as Einstein, so that they can add him to their pantheon of heroes, so they cook up the excuse that pantheism is somehow atheism. Einstein was certainly not an atheist, and actually complained about their attempts to claim him as one. But the New Atheists want him as a hero to add to their mythology, so the facts are really not important to them.

There was a certain triumphalism beginning in the nineteenth century, and carrying on through the twentieth that religion would die, science and reason would eliminate it and ultimately rule. The fact that religion has persisted is something that seems to have frustrated the New Atheists, as they now lash out at the foe they once were so sure they would overcome easily.

An Immature Mythology

In the end, looking at the mythology of the New Atheists two negative traits stand out.

First is that they take their myths completely literally. Because the mythology is not very mature, many of their myths can’t really be treated as allegorical.

Second, in taking them literally, they are sure that they are noble warriors fighting an evil force in the world, so their myths reinforce the idea of conflict and hostility. They are sure that they are oppressed, and have various martyrs they can point to which makes them angry. They are sure that religion and science necessarily conflict.

But inasmuch as they themselves are a religious movement, they have become that which they hate. Their mythology reinforces a view that causes a hatred and hostility towards other religions. We can only hope for their sake that one day they see through their myths, overcome their immature self-images, and grow into a more clear and accepting view of the way the world is.

Note: If you are interested in the study of mythology, a good place to start is the works of Joseph Campbell. He had an incredible breadth of knowledge of the myths of the world, and a great amount of insight into the patterns, meanings, and importance of mythology.

May 3, 2008

Dawkins vs. Dawkins

One of the most depressing things about online discussions of atheism is the presence of small herds of Dawkins fanboys who pride themselves on their “independent” thinking but somehow manage to hold the exact same viewpoints as Dawkins on everything from Einstein’s religious beliefs to the supposed irrelevance of Stalin’s atheism.
Interestingly, though, in an article I found posted on, of all places, Richard Dawkins’ website, Peter McKnight of the Vancouver Sun reveals that Dawkins himself is apparently a less fanatical Dawkinsist than most of his fans seem to be. McKnight notes that there seem to be two distinct Richard Dawkinses:

“First, there’s the fire-breathing Dawkins of literature, whose books and essays declare religion a virus of the mind, “comparable to the smallpox virus but harder to eradicate,” who maintains that religious instruction is a form of child mental abuse, and who will brook no opposition in his war on religious faith.

“Then there’s the personal Dawkins, the debonair Charles Simonyi Professor of the Public Understanding of Science at Oxford University, a man who is polite and gracious to a fault.”

Interviewing Dawkins, McKnight found not only that the “personal Dawkins” was far less of a dick than the fire-breathing Dawkins we know and love (or, in our case, hate) but also that he graciously conceded many of the points the fanboys take as gospel:

Dawkins — in person at least, if not in print … admits that politics often plays a large role in much strife commonly attributed to religion. Despite “imagining” in The God Delusion that Northern Ireland’s “troubles” would not exist in an atheistic world, he now freely acknowledges that the troubles were largely a political matter. … He doesn’t necessarily think religion is the root of all evil, but rather is perhaps only a branch. …

“When confronted with scholarship concerning the important influence religion played in the development of scientific method in both the Islamic world and the Christian West, Dawkins, while admitting to a lack of knowledge of the history of science, said “it wouldn’t surprise me if religion had predisposed people to do better science.”

McKnight is left to wonder:

“But can we reconcile the two Richard Dawkinses — the literary one who has nary a good word to say about religion, and the personal one who admits that religion doesn’t have a stranglehold on terror, may inspire ethical behaviour, and may even have contributed to the scientific enterprise?”

God — or Dawkins — only knows.

Source: How to reconcile Richard Dawkins? by Peter McKnight

April 30, 2008

Atheist … Furries?!

At first I couldn’t quite believe it, but there they are, on Livejournal and everything. Atheist furries. Actual adult human beings who like to dress up as big skanky bunnies and would love nothing more than if Richard Dawkins were a giant chipmunk they could yiff.

“This community is a place for furs who are Atheists to discuss their lack of religion, their problems with religion, looking at the world from a non-theistic point of view and so forth. … I believe as Richard Dawkins does that while religion may not be the root of all evil in the world, it is certainly the root of most of it. Let’s discuss that here.”

Many atheists say believing in God is like believing in the Easter Bunny; these atheists believe they are the Easter Bunny.

According to Furthling, one of the chattier atheistfurs, all furries should be atheists. It’s only natural:

“[S]ince animals don’t evince ritual or superstition, much less belief in god, it’s a meaningful trait of anthropomorphic characters that they are intelligent beings that don’t believe in god– part of a broader quality of “innocence” that such characters usually have. … All I’m saying is, I think “Atheist fur” is meaningful, distinctive, and quintessentially furry.”

Right now I’m shuddering like Kif on Futurama when he unwittingly gets a look at Zapp Brannigan’s fully exposed undercarriage.

EDIT: My friend Tuffy at FanDumb has almost convinced me Furthling’s argument actually sort of makes sense, though my cat isn’t an atheist — she seems have her own little cat-worshiping cult, of which she is also the deity. Still, I find the notion of a dude in a wolf suit lecturing the world about rationality a tad risible.

Meanwhile, Furthling has himself responded to my post! While I am pleased that he has acknowledged us as an “insignificant blog” (which is only two letters away from a “significant blog”!), I would like to offer proof that there are indeed people who like to dress up as skanky bunnies:

(Though admittedly he is less a Furry than a Furless.)

April 30, 2008

Slicin’ up eyeballs … I want you to know!

Quote of the Day:

“When I see those Visine commercials and hear Stein droning about “get the red out,” I picture Ben Stein sliding a cold razor across the eyes of a screaming victim, and then urinating in their face to wash the blood away. I can’t help it. It’s a natural connection to make, obviously.” –PZ Myers, Pharyngula

April 30, 2008

Smash the Celestial Teapot!

The most annoyingly designed atheist site ever! Even Bertrand Russell wouldn’t be able to endure more than about 3 seconds of that fucking hovering teapot

April 30, 2008

And Now a Word From Our Sponsor

And the word is “meow!”

Next Page »